I got cut off

Before I was finished with my last blog post, Journee woke up as always! So far I have lost 13 lbs!! That's a lot! I'm sure the rest of it won't come off that fast but its a good start for sure. I think my belly feels a bit smaller!

I had a really hard time today. My mom baked so many yummy cookies and kept trying to make me eat them! OMG totally fucking torture! She just doesn't understand the whole healthy lifestyle thing and probably never will. She is where I got my bad eating habits in the first place! But she is thin, has always been thin and will always be thin no matter what she eats. Its just her metabolism! I was not blessed with that gene unfortunately, but I am trying to make the best of it!

Elijah stayed home from school today and we did the first of the treatments which was an enema. He did so good and a lot of feces did come out. Tomorrow he gets suppositories...UGH

Can you believe the principal called and offered to come PICK HIM UP and bring him to school today? So Elijah could SEE what he would be missing out on by misbehaving. It was just weird!!

I am on the verge of having a breakdown, I can always feel it coming on and I am so not looking forward to the kids being on break for two weeks. Sigh. The new theater near us is having free movies every day of vacation though and that is exciting! It starts with A Nativity Story on Saturday so we will probably take the older kids to see that one.

Sometimes I feel bad for not raising my kids with any particular religion or talking to them about God much. Or showing them how to pray, but my hard is just not in it anymore and I feel like they would feel my insincerity if I attempted to teach them about it. So I am hoping that by going to see A Nativity Story they can see the story of Christmas as a wonderful story and the reason most people celebrate Christmas. I don't know sometimes I wonder if my kids are suffering from not having a "faith" I know I really enjoyed believing as a child just like I believed in Santa Claus. I prayed every night and continued to pray up until my early 20's! Then it all just kinda drained out of me after getting pregnant with Journee.

Its not that I don't believe in God, its that I don't believe in Religion where you have to do a million things, to be "saved" and all that damnation and hell fire and brimstone stuff just seems so ugly to me.

Anyway, I have a headache so I am going to log off now...